St. Patricks Day
St. Patrick’s Day at the University of Wisconsin - Oshkosh was so wild in the 70’s that students came from across the country to celebrate. As I look back at my college years I can’t help but reminisce about those wild times. We all looked forward to March 17th when the bars would open early. Most of us would start the day off with green beer over our cereal. By noon there were so many students passed out on the street that the police found it easier to just put up barricades and direct traffic around them. As hard as it is to believe, on that single day there were actually more drunks in the city than at a Lisa Minnelli brunch! Eventually the university scheduled Spring Break to coincide with St. Patrick’s Day so the college kids would be out of town. I’ve never enjoyed St. Patrick’s Day quite as much anywhere else since then. Is it a big thing where you live?
I now spend St. Patrick’s Day at home reminiscing of those college days. My guess is I’m not alone and that many of us complain about the boring state of our lives in latter years but never do anything about it. We’re all free to change our lives at any time but yet how many of us do?
While most of the populace in L.A. is Hispanic on March 17th. we all lay claim to having some Irish in our blood, no matter how little that might be. Most people here celebrate St. Patrick’s Day at a handful of Irish pubs in Santa Monica and Venice. I went there a few years ago. A glass of Guinness costs you a months rent. Maybe next year I’ll go back. After all I am 25% Irish.I left Chilton four days after graduating from high school and hitchhiked out west to become rich and famous. My plan was to have my own sitcom by the time I was 30. So much for dreams.
Not that I’ve become jaded. I still enjoy walking the back lots of the studios, especially the older ones like Paramount which is rich with history. The buildings there are all named after celebrities. My favorite is the Lucille Ball building. That’s where the most sought after office suites are located. I can't help but dream about the Tom Neuhoff building.
There are lessons to be learned about fame and fortune that can be learned only in L.A. I had heard for years that Dick Clark was not as friendly in person, despite his personae on camera. He fires people at the drop of a hat. Yet he turned out to be the friendliest celebrity I've ever had the privilege to talk with. I told him I was in a number of college film classes with his top producer, Larry Klein. He lit up and talked with me for more than twenty minutes which is unusual for any celebrity.
Larry Klein was producing "American Bandstand" only 6 months after graduating from college. Now he produces the "American Music Awards" among other major awards shows. Larry had a barbers chair in the middle of his office at Dick Clark Productions in Burbank. I’d sit in it and we’d talk about the old days in Oshkosh. If I had known he was going to be this famous and powerful I would have made it a point to be his best friend in college. Everybody wants to be your best friend once you’re famous. The real friend has been your buddy all along.
Security in Hollywood was laidback before 9/11. There was a time when you could easily sneak into any major studio. My gimmick was to walk around backstage with a telephone book under my arm. After all, why would someone be carrying a telephone book unless they worked there? That trick got me into "The Tonight Show" in New York City the night before Tiny Tim married his Miss Vicky. It got me into CBS Television City in L.A. to watch the Sonny and Cher show from backstage. At the same CBS studio I stood next to Rob Reiner (without his toupee) during rehearsals for "All In The Family".
"Roseanne" was the only sitcom I ever attended where there was a metal detector at the entrance. "Coach", on the other hand, had the most relaxed set. Jerry Van Dyke loved to ask for my opinion on his performance. I told him I was a Canadian writer. I told everybody I was a Canadian writer. That bought me respect at most of the shows. Except for "Roseanne". Nobody was treated with respect there.March is a time of joy. In Wisconsin winter has departed and the air is crisp and fresh with the smell of melting snow. I imagine in Sechelt you're getting out the hiking gear. In L.A. we start worrying about West Nile virus. Our two worlds couldn’t be more dramatically different.
One of the fondest memories I have of the Sunshine Coast is getting off the ferry at Langdale and smelling that fresh scent of pine trees. Memories of the Sunshine Coast never fails to take me away from the smog and crime of L.A. Show business was why I came out here years ago. The only reason I’m still here is that I can't get a Canadian work visa. As I've said many times the Sunshine Coast is the closest I'll ever get to Heaven.
Tom Neuhoff
World Humour
"Funnier Than You"
posted by Tom @ 2:03 PM
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