Sex & Sin

I was raised in a small Wisconsin farming town where we learned the two greatest sins were sex and losing to the Chicago Bears. The greatest sin would have been to actually have sex with a Bear. Vince Lombardi was coach of the Packers and I thought sex was only for Californians and Paul Horning. (He was the playboy of the 60’s Packers) I've grown up since those days and learned that sex is only a sin if it ends up on You Tube.

There was a time in my life when I wanted to be a Franciscan monk. Not because I wanted to devote my life to Christ but because I thought the robes looked so cool. What’s not to like about brown robes and sandals? That's pretty much the same reason I enlisted in the Air Force. Cool uniforms. I was a young, naive altar boy back when Latin was spoken in Mass. It's hard to believe I was ever that innocent.

As a Catholic growing up in the 50's and 60's I was taught that sex was a sin unless you were married and then only done to make more Catholics. Only Lutherans were allowed to enjoy sex. They caught all the breaks. One teacher I had told me that sex was bad even in marriage but I think she was speaking only of her marriage.

Where I grew up in Wisconsin there were only three religions: Catholics, Lutherans and Packer fans. I never met or even saw any minorities until I graduated from high school and worked as an elevator operator at the YMCA in Chicago down in the loop. Talk about culture shock. Yet in its own way I found it exciting. Haight-Ashbury would appeal to me for the same reason a year later.

I lost my virginity in the front of a '61 Falcon and to this day my knees hurt just thinking about it. Don't ask. It only brings back embarrassing memories. I don't think I would have enjoyed sex as much if it wasn't a sin. It's a lot like enjoying a hot dog on Friday back when the church considered it a venial sin to eat meat on Friday. Then one day it wasn’t a sin and I haven’t enjoyed a hot dog since.

"The DaVinci Code" hypothesized that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and they had a daughter who grew up in France. While this story doesn't offend my Catholic sensibility, I am saddened to hear anybody's kid had to grow up in France.

I suppose sex before marriage will always be a sin. I hope so. If there’s sex in Heaven I hope we get to wear masks.